The Human Race

There was a time when I believed racism did not exist. There was a time when I thought people in my social class, in my town, in my neighborhood, in my family could never possess the capacity to be racist knowingly or unknowingly. There was a time when I thought it was just a non-issue in my life. I'm hesitant to write on this subject, but part of me feels that I need to record these feelings somewhere.

When I was a child, my mother's mission in raising me was to raise me to be perfect. An ambitious task that clearly failed, as no one can obtain perfection. However, her attempts were not fruitless and my parents certainly got a few things right. Somehow they taught me to love people. I was painstakingly encouraged to find the good in everyone, to treat them well, and to love each one. As a child I would befriend anyone, it never mattered if they were small, large, boy, girl, black, brown, "cool," or "weird." I lived in a nearly homogeneous town - approximately 95% white. Race was never a big deal because there wasn't much of it. Of the handful of non-whites in my class, all of them found a crowd to belong to. I never experienced or witnessed discrimination. College was another near-homogneous environment and life continued as it always had. My husband and I met a week before I turned 18 the first full day of orientation at our undergraduate university. We became friends and we shared friends we had in common. He was black and I white, but I never noticed. It was just something seen but not processed - it didn't matter.

I had a moment when Howie and I both seriously entertained the idea of dating. The thought first crossed my mind: "Oh, he's black... does that matter? What will my parents think? What will my friends think?" To this point I had never met an interracial couple, I had never faced this concept, and while my instincts about befriending people bore no colored glasses, I consciously entertained the idea for a moment. What did this mean? For all my parents hard work to raise me right, to raise me blind to this taboo social constraint, I had a moment in which I hesitated. I consciously took the issue and made a decision about it in that moment. If race never meant anything to me for the first 19 years of my life, I was not going to let it affect me now. It was stupid and superficial, especially when a deep love for that person was already nesting in my soul.

I was 19 when racism first grazed my life.

Our dads were not so keen on our black/white-ness at the beginning. It was a stress that became a part of our first months of dating. It didn't take convincing, per say; I never had to sit down and explain my reasoning for dating this person to my dad, nor he to his dad. But it did take time and encouragement from our mothers for them to identify the fact that they needed a moment. They needed a moment to consciously hold the question in their minds and face the issue. And unsurprisingly with a little time and patience they both embraced each of us as their children. Perhaps its because they are our dads that it was easier for us to not really take this to heart as a personal attack after it all settled down and to move forward along with them.

We continued living in our relative bubble of life, which did not include racism. Surrounded by our peers in age, education, and socioeconomics, we remained a part of a homogenous society.

Sadly, just 15 days before our wedding day racism struck again.

We received a message on our wedding website from an anonymous source criticizing our interracial union. Its unknowable if it was a family member, a friend, or a random passerby to our site who felt it their moral obligation to butt into business that is not their own. But the message was racist and did just what racism is meant to do - incite insecurity and inferiority. The author made a series of points including "a person truly secure with themselves instinctively wants their children to look like them," "you're the beautiful young lady you are because your parents and grandparents respected the fundamental to marry within their own heritages," "sure you and Howie can be friends, but raising a family is serious business and you should marry within your heritage especially since our kind is quickly becoming a minority," and finally ending with the statement that "your friends and family are ready to support you in your decision to cancel this event [meaning my wedding]. Sincerely, A Friend."

I was, needless to say, shocked. Stunned. Speechless. I was reeling with disbelief, anger, and insecurity. My inner monologue was practically on speed with spite and sarcasm... Well clearly, I am so insecure that I would like to hide my genes behind the dominant black genes that are sure to take over. I'm certain my children won't look one bit like me after those genes have done their work. And yes, only white European mutts are beautiful, clearly people like Halle Barry, Alicia Keys, and Mariah Carey are not beautiful. Who talks about "heritages" anyway... and does this person realize I'm a mix of at least 5 different Caucasion "heritages" from across western to eastern Europe all the way up to Russia? Good job, ancestors, for marrying only within your own. Maybe "our kind" becoming extinct isn't so bad if it means narrow minded people like you become extinct with them. Signed a Friend? A Friend? What kind of "Friend" is this. And do they realize the wedding is in 15 days... If you are such a concerned friend, then why now after I've been engaged for almost 3 years. They better not be invited to the wedding, and if they are, they better not be coming. What if they are coming, what if they say something at the mass? What if this "friend" feels the need to make a scene, or say something to my parents or me in person? 

My initial anger gradually changed to anxiety. I promptly removed the post from the website in my wild desire to attempt to make this issue now disappear. But the feelings remained and the words continued to sting my memory. It wouldn't disappear. And I knew that it wouldn't disappear as the anxiety swelled and the fear of hearing someone agree compelled me to keep this quiet and secret from most everybody.

It was troubling and challenging to deal with, partly because it was something I had never dealt with or witnessed (at least to my knowledge I had never witnessed it). I had developed a distrust for my extended family and friends and a sense of resentment toward my own race. In fact, I felt my race had been taken away... or rather that I was giving it up. I didn't want to be seen as white anymore. I didn't want to belong to a race, a group of people that, for all the hurts it caused and supposedly regrets still carries on with the same haughtiness and sense of superiority and entitlement that enabled itself to commit those prior crimes in the first place. Not to say all whites are the same, surely many would never feel those feelings. But in that moment and the following days, I was facing the inferiority and insecurity created by a racist note from and unknown party. I felt like the world was against me and I didn't realize it was a conspiracy until too late - I felt like I was walking into a trap, that my wedding was a set up and all I loved and knew would crumble. I no longer felt like the blissful outsider I once was. My ideals about society and the human race had been stripped from me. I thought we had finally figured out that being part of the human race was enough to unite us, at least here in my American, educated, middle class bubble it should be enough -- it should be enough, right? We should know better. Perhaps I should have known better...

Yoga: Why you should think about doing it

In my quest for health (which, if you have been a consistent follower, you will know from my commentary last summer I began taking my health and fitness seriously and *pat on the back* I've kept it up) I've recently stumbled upon yoga. My routine last summer was pretty consistent: running 5-6 days a week. Once the cold kicked in, however, I had to get more creative. I have reactive airways (my lungs act up like an asthmatic under certain conditions) and the cold is just not my friend. I kept up my running until the end of October after my second 5K and then it was time for a bit of recovery. I took approximately two months off from running busying my time with a few weight exercises and Kenpo X here and there.

{Kenpo X is a disc from the famed P90X series... up until recently it was the only disc I would indulge in - 45 minutes of cardio in the form of mixed martial arts, primarily boxing/kick-boxing like exercises}

Shortly after the massacre in Newtown, I learned of a 5K at the end of March to support the victims families and immediately signed up. This meant I had to jump back into running. I joined a gym in January and resumed my running with more vigorous weight training than I had previously been doing. I ran my 5K and then fell into a bit of a slump. With my new career it was very difficult for me to work out with the frequency I had previously been used to since I work an odd schedule, and now that I wasn't tied to an upcoming event I lost my motivation to run.

As if it was a sign from the heavens, my mom called me one day and said "I signed up for yoga!" My whole family was shocked since we had all been ragging on her for years that she needed to get involved in some kind of physical activity because her body wasn't going to get any younger or stronger without it. She told me about it and insisted that I would probably enjoy it too. I knew P90X had a yoga disc, but I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I decided to stray from my Kenpo X to attempt Yoga X.

The "X" I discovered really does in fact mean "intense". Of course I knew Kenpo would be intense since it is a full body cardio work-out, but I still felt the X was a silly name attached to all the discs for the sake of the series. However, Yoga X is freakin' hard, people!! The first time I tried it, I could barely make it through the first 20 minutes of the work-out... which is a whopping hour and 45 minutes long. However, I really felt like my inner core was strengthened by even that measly 20 minutes. So I continued to attempt, and re-attempt the Yoga X. While I still can't do the entire disc at once, I've significantly improved and I really feel like it has enhanced my strength and endurance. And while the P90X instructor really doesn't focus on the mental health aspect that yoga claims to also enhance, it really does help clear the mind if you focus on the breathing while timing the stretches with the breathing as instructed. It brings your mental awareness to yourself, your body, your breathing, and brings you to the present moment.

Basically, it all boils down to the following reasons why I advocate for this form of exercise: 1. It's challenging and gives you a real work-out, 2. It builds your core strength and flexibility - which will enhance your overall athletic ability, 3. It can serve as a fabulous form of "you time" to workout your body and mind. So if you are looking for an alternative work-out to add to your routine, seriously consider adding yoga! Ohmm.

As an extra tidbit, if you are curious about yoga, I recommend you purchase a $10 video on amazon before you decide whether or not its something you really want to commit to at a studio. Studio yoga classes are ridiculously expensive and you can get a well guided workout from a video.

Daymares and Nightdreams

So I guess a few of you have probably been wondering whats the deal. I said I'd be back to normal, but alas, I spoke too soon. I apologize for the lack of content it seems I've needed a kick in the pants to get it together. This fall has been a bit of an odd time for me... I've never had nothing to do for so long that the lack of scheduled activities has turned me into quite the couch potato. Sadly, I've been overindulging in social media (still addicted to twitter), catching up on all my fave junk TV, and mostly twiddling my thumbs.

My boredom had gotten so bad, that not only had I become a blob, I started having very vivid and strange dreams. Most of them were not so bothersome for me to remember exactly what the content was, but towards the end of October I started having this one dream repeat itself. The first one was the most shocking, very vivid. A couple days later a very similar, but my more subdued version filled my unconscious REM stage, and the following week the "product" of this dream came back to haunt me for a third time.

What was this disturbing and eerie dream, you ask? Going through labor and having a baby! For those of you who know me, you know I love babies, and I am excited to one day have one after I am married to my buddy. However, despite my "baby fever", I am in no way ready for one right now. So, as you can imagine, this was quite freaky. What do you think I did about it? To GOOGLE!!

While sitting with a group of my girlies and discussing my persistent dream-fetus, we went on a search for dream meanings. You can all relax, the meaning of the dream is not that I am pregnant. We'll hold on to that surprise for a future date and time. The meaning of the dream is actually related to creativity.

The Huffington Post interviewed a dream analyst on the subject who stated that "At its core, this dream is about creativity. Women literally create new life out of their bodies. If you dream of being pregnant, you are likely craving time to be creative, or 'dreaming up' a new and exciting creative project that will come into existence down the line. This could be as small as a home-based renovation project or a large-scale artistic work." My search did not stop there, however. Being educated in a research mindset, one source is simply not enough. Fortunately, link after link revealed roughly the same idea. Dreams of being pregnant or giving birth usually correlate to a developing idea, a new creative project, or an emotional time of growth. 

Yay for not being pregnant! And yay for realizing my boredom was the likely culprit of these dreams/nightmares. Moral of the story, if you are having pregnancy dreams... you can relax! You may be bored out of your mind and looking for creative inspiration, or you may be starting on a new endeavor and your unconscious psyche likes to play with your mind while you sleep. Despite the benign nature of these dreams, you can bet I promptly gave myself some projects to keep them away. 

The Social Network

Social media has been on the rise since the '90s. Starting with MySpace, progressing through Facebook, and  continuing with Twitter and Instagram. I, for one, never participated in MySpace; Facebook was my first venture into social networking when it was still restricted to college students. Since then I've joined LinkedIn, the professional network, and I dabbled in Pinterest for about a week before calling it quits (I didn't really understand it and didn't want to deal with it after my interest fizzled).

Three days ago, however, I joined a new "club:" Twitter. At first, I didn't understand it. I wasn't interested in joining these millions of networks not knowing who was going to bump into my account. However, my interest grew insidiously from recommendations from friends and siblings, so eventually I caved. And, to my own surprise, I am hooked. Within 24 hours I found myself incessantly checking statuses and searching for new people to follow. So far my collection includes various sports analysts, Chelsea soccer, Barcelona Soccer, Giants Football, Paula Deen, Snooki, some of the Kardashians, Brit Brit, Ricky Gervais, Aziz Ansari, E! News, a bunch of friends, and more. Needless to say, I rarely find myself bored these days since there are always new tweets and instagrams to check up on. No wonder this has caught like wildfire and sucked me in with it!

While I'm completely in love with twitter, it has caused me to once again reflect on American culture. Aside from the friend who urged me to join, most others have had that "why would you do that?" response when I've shared with them my new obsession. But is it really that shocking? Just as facebook was (and arguably still is) a means of instant procrastination with a sense of social belonging, twitter offers that same gratification. Even Pinterest, which I still don't buy into, is loved by many, many of my friends... social belonging is fulfilled by pinning to your friends boards, its a wonderful means of procrastination, and it triggers pleasure centers in your brain looking at pictures of delicious goodies, beautiful places to visit, or creative projects you're dying to try... albeit this is more of a network geared towards girls since you can post an unimaginable amount of the above mentioned goodies, travel sites, or DIY (do-it-yourself) projects.

Twitter offers all those same feelings of social ties, but adds the sense of actual interaction with your favorite celebrities, politicians, sports announcers, sports teams, athletes, organizations, etc. What could be better than watching the X-Factor and feeling like your hanging with Brit Brit as she tweets through the entire show about her feelings regarding the contestants? Or how about getting a play-by-play of your favorite soccer match while at the laundromat? Or getting to hear the sass of your favorite comedian throughout the day? It's instant entertainment at any given moment. Plus you get to add in your own 2 cents whenever you feel like it.

Now, I'm not a spokesperson, but I imagine this is what any advocate of twitter would argue and then some. However, I will admit I waste an incessant amount of time these days waiting for my job to start so I had to entertain myself with something and twitter happened to find me at the right time. And because of that, I felt the need to share with you what I've learned about this bit of American culture gone wild: it can be quite addictive.

Happy PA week!

The end of PA week has come and I felt it was time that I contribute to promote my profession. I'm a Physician Assistant, which means I am a trained graduate of a masters program in medical education, I've passed a national certification exam, and I am licensed by the state to provide medical care to patients in almost every medical specialty, including diagnostic testing, managing patient care, and administering treatment to patients. I work as part of a team with medical assistants, nurses, and supervising physicians. Want to know more about how PAs are providing necessary medical care in today's society? Here's a great video on PAs: I'm a PA

Here's a link to my page on PAs, Health, and Medicine where you can find even more information about this great profession. 

Willkommen zum Oktoberfest

{Welcome to Oktoberfest}

Fall is back! Well, I supposed it has been unofficially fall for over a month now if you count fall as the start of the school year. You could say this is the 4th week of fall if you go by the NFL's calendar. However, you could be true to the solstice and only admit to it being the end of the first week of fall; nonetheless, its undoubtedly the time of year that indicates a select few things to celebrate. First: football, second: Oktoberfest style beer, third: football...

While I clearly am a football fan, that is not the focus of this post. This last Friday we went to a mock Oktoberfest celebration at a quaint German restaurant which got me thinking about what my favorites are, especially since Howie goes crazy for Oktoberfest style beer annually at this time of year. For those of you who know me, you know at least one of two things: (a) I'm not a huge beer person, and/or (b) I'm a huge beer snob. Both are true. I don't always drink beer, but when I do I prefer the good stuff (props to who knows where that line comes from). I don't really do light beers (no Coors, Bud, Miller, etc) unless there is nothing else to drink and I'm not into very hoppy "man" beers. If I can taste the bitter aftertaste in my nose, it's a no-go. So here goes:

5. Blue Moon (by Coors - US of A)
Disclaimer: This beer is making it to the list only because it is my go-to bar beer.
I am well aware this is not an super high quality beer; its the generic "girl beer." With that noted, it was too difficult for me to confidently decide between the runner's up for this spot so Blue Moon is the pick because of the frequency with which I drink this beer. It is a wheat beer - my favorite style. In fact, almost all the beers on my list of acceptable beers to drink are wheat beers. This style is light and fruity in flavor with a smooth finish. Runner's up: Hoegaarden, Sam's Summer Ale, Pumpkin Wheat, Schneider Edel-Weisse.

4. Delirium Tremens (Belgium)
A new beer on my list, Delirium Tremens is quite a treat. Similar to a wheat beer (jury is out on the official classification) it's light in color and smooth in finish - but you don't need a lot of this as the alcohol content is pretty high for a beer.

3. Oktoberfest (by Sam Adams - US of A)
I didn't choose the title of this post without reason. Oktoberfest style is definitely my second favorite in every way. Crisp, full bodied flavor perfect for the season. I'd even accept other brands of oktoberfest. But I do wish it lasted longer than 2.5 months out of the year, as does my boy since its at the top of his list too (see below).

2. Hopfen Weisse (by Schneider - German)
I'll admit, I've only had this beer once - but it's that good. Since you've probably figured it out, Howie is the driving force behind my beer snobbism by exposing me to these fabulous finds. After hunting for a specialty beer store, we hit the jackpot only 5 miles from where we live. This is the type of store that you walk into where the walls are lined with over-sized bottles of specialty beers and you get to select as many or as few of exactly what you want. That is where we found this little gem. It's a wheat beer so its that golden honey color, on the fruity side, with the smoothest finish you can find in a beer. The flavor is so unique and the aroma is just as enticing. I might be drooling thinking about this one.

1. Franziskaner Weissbier (by Spaten - German)
This has been my favorite beer for a while now, though the Hopfen Weisse might take over after I try it a few more times. Howie introduced this as a surprise one time while visiting my family (he and my dad have a tradition of trying new beers and styles as often as they can). It is a wheat beer; I'm sure you are surprised by this. The flavor is full and on the sweeter side with a very smooth finish. If you like wheat beer, this is the best it gets.


Howie's Picks: 
5. Dos Equis Amber
4. Delirium Tremens
3. Guinness
2. Oktoberfest (Sam Adams specific)
1. Schneider Edel-Weisse 

The Big E

The Eastern States Exposition began in the early 1900s as a way to boost the agricultural economy in New England and has since turned into one of the largest state fairs today known as The Big E. To call it a "state" fair is a bit of a misnomer, as it is a fair for all of the New England states.


The Big E is a well known attraction to those in New England; however, this was the first year I've ever attended despite spending my teenage years as a resident of Connecticut. For those of you who've been, you know its a never-ending display of food, games, rides, shopping, farm animals etc. For the first timers, its admittedly a bit overwhelming. The first few hundred feet into the fair grounds it seems like just a normal northeastern carnival: the tents are colorful, the food trucks are ostentatious, and the rides and games are twinkling with gaudy light fixtures. As you continue walking you realize the fun seems to go on for miles (and I assure you, we walked miles that day around and around - to the point of waking up sore the next morning).

I'm sure my experience was fairly traditional, but lets relive it, shall we? It was a crisp September morning when me and two lovely ladies departed from southern CT on a mini road trip to meet our long lost buddy from PA school who moved back to MA after graduation. We had been plotting this trip for a while and were looking forward to a food-filled day of fun (that's what the repeat visitors to the Big E were looking forward to anyway).

The first thing we encountered upon arrival were the Budweiser Clydesdales... humongous, majestic horses famous for their appearances in Bud commercials throughout the year, and mostly during major football events later in the season. I have always loved horses and as a child I begged to take riding lessons; however, my mother never caved in on that request. As you can imagine, these horses were quite a sight as they are literally huge. In commercials they are often accompanied by their canine friends, dalmatians. I guess the Big E wanted to do things right so on cue at the back of the tent where the horses were kept were two dalmatians arguing over a bone.

We then moved through the warehouses to take in all the goodies being sold by various vendors. There were gadgets and gizmos of plenty, whosits and whatsits galore. There was even a mini winter wonderland to walk through with blasting air conditioners and falling 'snow.' One of the warehouses was entirely devoted to farming and contained pigs, chickens, vegetables, llamas, alpacas, and landscaping displays. My favorites: the piglets and chicklets. 

As for the food, you can get almost anything deep fried at the Big E. Fried pickles, fried zucchini, fried dough, fried twinkies, fried chicken, fried cookie dough, french fries, and so on. The two that I was lucky enough to indulge in were fried oreos - bangin - and fried cheese curds - not so bangin. The cheese curds were the brain child of our one friend; let's just say I won't be having those again anytime soon. In addition to carnival food is a multitude of carnival games rides; however, those are not my specialty so I'm not going to discuss them. Just know that every carnival ride known exists at the Big E.

Finally, you can't really talk about the Big E without mentioning the state houses. Along one strip in the fair grounds are six old style brick houses dedicated to the states of New England: Connecticut (holla), Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Vermont, New Hampshire, and Maine. Each house contains select food and vendors from the state. In Connecticut, the big deal was the Pez. The United States Pez factory is located in Orange, CT. Each state house had something different to offer - maple syrup, soaps, lobster rolls, cotton candy, sweatshirts, hats, and other paraphernalia. I purchased some all natural soaps and some Vermont maple syrup for my boy during my tour through the houses. Overall this was a very successful and exciting adventure.

The Secret of Life: A Reflection

Here's another repost for your enjoyment taken from another blog I like to follow, A Country Doctor Writes. This is a big time of change for me, so I felt this piece appropriate for the times to remind us all to keep moving forward:

The Secret Of Life

Published June 23, 2012 Reflections 1 Comment 

“The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time”

                    James Taylor

One of my wife’s mentors has a 104-year-old aunt, who on her 100^th birthday was asked to reveal the secret of her longevity.

“I always have something to look forward to” was her answer.

Wisdom, happiness and longevity aren’t confined to people in cathedrals or ivory towers. They can be found in seemingly ordinary people in the most ordinary places. James Taylor, in his song “Secret O’ Life”, goes on to say, “any fool can do it”. Similarly, the Bible tells us to be more child-like (Matthew 18:4).

That doesn’t mean you have to be childish or think like a fool to enjoy life. It does mean that finding happiness is not complicated, and we sometimes get so wrapped up in our own thinking that we fail to see the simplicity in some of the universal truths about life as well as the beauty of life itself.

Observing which of my patients live well and handle age, illness and adversity the best, I see the power of this every day.

Jungian therapist Robert A. Johnson describes in his book, “Transformation: Understanding the three levels of masculine consciousness”, how the male psyche evolves from simple man (exemplified by Don Quixote), who asks “What’s for dinner?” to complicated man (Hamlet), who asks “What does it all mean?” to enlightened man (Faust), who asks “What’s for dinner?”

Too many of us dwell on the past – what we lost, what we never had, what we should or shouldn’t have done. Too many of us spin our wheels over-analyzing the present. Too many of us fritter away our days and our lives imagining or pining for distant futures at the expense of the present moment.

There is nothing wrong with thinking about the past, but we must each find our own way of making peace with it. There is nothing wrong with trying to understand our present circumstances, but not all of it will make sense to us now. Sometimes it takes years or a lifetime to understand the things we go through in life. There is nothing wrong with having dreams and goals, but we must somehow find joy in the journey towards those goals without feeling that we are wasting our time in our present life, since for some of us, that is all we’ll ever have.

Wisdom, like happiness, can’t be bought or taught. It is only occasionally learned in formal education settings through rigorous study and practice. More often it is earned through hardship and experience. It is gained when we look deep inside ourselves and acknowledge what we see. In the words of C. G. Jung, “One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious”.

In medicine, wisdom is partly gained by being wrong, or at least humbled by facing the limitations of our knowledge. But clinical wisdom must be paired with human wisdom as well as some of that simple joy of life James Taylor sang about, so that we can truly be of help to our patients. Nietzsche, in words that could have been written for practicing physicians, said:

“There is one thing one has to have: either a soul that is cheerful by nature, or a soul made cheerful by work, love, art, and knowledge.”

That is the hope I carry, that my love of medicine, of my wife, my family, and of the arts and the beauty around me will help me be joyful in my daily living. I hope that love will sustain me as the alarm continues to ring at 05:10 on bright summer mornings as well as dark, howling winter ones, this year and for many more years to come.

Oh Beautiful, for Spacious Skies

For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties,
Above the fruited plain.
America, America
God shed His grace on thee,
And crown thy good with brotherhood,
From sea to shining sea! 

Happy Birthday America, or as the many Facebook goers spell it: 'Merica, Amurica, and 'Murica. Gotta love pop culture's influence on everyday pronunciation. Anyway, today is a day of care free enjoyment. Fortunately, its hot and sunny. People will travel in droves to the beaches, crack open beers in backyards, eat hamburgers and hot-dogs to their hearts content, and patiently wait for nightfall to watch fireworks rain through the skies. Other than wishing you all a Happy 4th of July, there's not much more to say on this patriotic occasion. 

I'll leave you with some fun facts about the Fourth: 

• The legal separation of the colonies from Great Britain actually occurred on July the 2nd, 1776, not the 4th.
• July 4th was the day the revised version of the Declaration of Independence was approved.
• There is debate among historians that the Declaration of Independence was actually signed in August of 1776
• John Adams (2nd president of the USA), Thomas Jefferson (3rd president), and James Monroe (4th president) all died on the 4th of July, the first two in 1826 and the latter in 1831

*Info taken from my best internet friend, wikipedia. 

Mother's Day vs. Father's Day

Father's Day is around the corner and, being the procrastinator that I am, I went hunting for cards yesterday. Being that one of the cards I will have to mail across the country, this is cutting it pretty close. This time, its slightly easier because I only need to hunt down 3 cards, instead of the 4 I had to buy for Mother's Day. Despite the benefits of having two families now, it makes card hunting very difficult. I'm a bit of an emotionally-stunted individual when it comes to card shopping. Just one month ago I was a nut running from store to store looking for Mother's Day cards that said just what I wanted them to say. I was in a panic, a frenzy, if you will. Card shopping is a very anxiety driven chore for me for some reason.

For Father's Day, however, I thought things would be different. Father's don't read into things as much, they are more laid back, and generally (from my experience) don't put as high a value on a card as a mother would. So I started with the little townie stationary store half a block down the street. They had nothing. Literally a 10 card selection that wasn't cutting it. So I kept walking to the local specialty super market. Now, I knew they didn't have a card section, but I'd seen a turn-style there before with cards so I figured I would give it a try. Again, a minimal selection. Another half block down I ran into the townie pharmacy. They had ZERO Father's Day cards! How can this be, is Father's Day not a holiday in this town?!? My difficulty at Mother's Day was not for lack of options. I must have looked at hundreds of cards before making my final selections. How on earth was I going to find appropriate cards for this holiday if the stores didn't have any to choose from!

At this point, it was time to get in my car and drive to a brand store. The Target parking lot is always a nightmare, so I went to CVS. I joke not, 90% of their Father's Day options were for "Husband". There was one left for "Dad" and a select 5 for "Papa." A woman standing next to me, also looking dumbfounded at the options, said aloud "Man, this is not like Mother's Day." I completely agreed with her and was just about whittled down to purchasing blank cards and writing my own messages. But wait! CVS had no blank cards either! With the most grumpy face I could muster, I left the store and resolved to make Target my last stop. If I had no luck there I'd send homemade cards out of computer paper, that's how flustered I felt.

Fortunately I did not have to throw a temper tantrum in Target. While they had a slightly smaller selection than at Mother's Day, they still had a sizable section of their card department devoted to Father's Day cards. I found my three in about 30 minutes (I'm not kidding, card shopping is an ordeal for me) and then bee-lined it to the parking lot.

The point of this story: I was so amazed at the lack of attention the stores put on Father's Day. Do people not buy Father's Day cards?  Mother's Day naturally gets some extra attention. Everyone is excited that its spring, commercials advertising the holiday seem to be more present, no one is consumed by summer plans yet. But does that mean Father's Day just gets forgotten about? How? Why? Do fathers not do as much as our mothers? Surely this is not the case - in my family I'd like to say my parents have done equally as much for me, but in very different ways. Despite my mother having a more emotional presence, I still wouldn't be who I am without both my parents' influence. Maybe (Hopefully) my town was simply unprepared as a fluke. Maybe I was more behind the ball than usual and all people of my town already got their cards, leaving the pickings for me... It can't be like this everywhere? If we, as Americans, are keen on wasting our money on cards for Mother's Day (among other, more ridiculous card holidays), why would Father's Day be an exception? 

I'm gonna fight em off, a seven nation army couldn't hold me back...

Being an American soccer fan, I usually like to randomly start chanting "Ole! ole ole ole! ole, ole" as I rally myself in my living room. However, over the past couple of years I've noticed a change in the chant, particularly at live MLS or international friendlies I've attended. Out of the background a group of young male voices rise, its the White Stripes Seven Nation Army bassline:  "Ohh, o-O-o-ohhhh, ohh!"

Being American, and knowing this song is one by an American husband-wife duo band, I had always assumed it was "our" thing, an American thing, a USA thing. So much to my surprise, today while watching the Spain v Italy Group C match-up at the UEFA Euro Cup 2012 I hear the Italian fans singing after their goal: "Ohh, o-O-o-ohhhh, ohh!" I turn to Howie and say, "Isn't that an American thing? Why are the Italians singing it?" Howie promptly and matter-of-factly states, "No, it started in Europe." 

I bet you can guess what I did next....To Google! In my search to discover who really turned this American alternative rock song into an international soccer (futbol?) chant, I discovered Howie was right... Europeans started it.

An article on Deadspin reported:

The march toward musical empire began on Oct. 22, 2003, in a bar in Milan, Italy, 4,300 miles away from Detroit. Fans of Club Brugge K.V., in town for their team's group-stage UEFA Champions League clash against European giant A.C. Milan, gathered to knock back some pre-match beers. Over a stereo blared seven notes: Da...da-DA-da da DAAH DAAH, the signature riff of a minor American hit song.

...

But in Milan, at the beginning, it was purely spontaneous and local. Kickoff was coming. The visiting Belgians moved out into the city center, still singing. They kept chanting it in the stands of the San Siro—Oh...oh-OH-oh oh OHH OHH—as Peruvian striker Andres Mendoza stunned Milan with a goal in the 33rd minute and Brugge made it hold up for a shocking 1-0 upset. Filing out of the stadium, they continued to belt it out.

The song traveled back to Belgium with them, and the Brugge crowd began singing it at home games. The club itself eventually started blasting "Seven Nation Army" through the stadium speakers after goals. 

My favorite website wikipedia corroborates the story:

The song is very popular in European football stadiums even becoming the anthem of Italy's World Cup win in 2006 and of the Euro 2008.^[12] Its emergence as a popular sporting anthem can be traced to a bar in Milan, Italy where on October 22, 2003 supporters of Club Brugge K.V. overheard the song while preparing for a UEFA Champions League group match against A.C. Milan and began to sing along. After a 0-1 upset win, the fans brought the song back with them to Belgium, where Brugge began playing it during matches. After Brugge hosted A.S. Roma in a UEFA Cup match on February 15, 2006, the Italian side brought the song back home with them. By the time the World Cup had began in June, the song had become the national team's unofficial anthem.^[13]

Over the course of just under a decade, the song has not only infiltrated Europe, but MLS, college club sports, varsity sports, and the NFL as well (Supposedly its become a big deal at Ravens games, but I wouldn't know much about them). I will admit, I was a bit disappointed to find that USA fans did not start this chant, but what can ya do? Even though soccer is on the rise here, the fan-ship is just not the same as it is in Europe and Latin America. Ultimately, I'm just glad the vuvuzela craze has calmed down and chants are back at the forefront of goal scoring celebrations.

Tweaks to a famous life-stage theory

We're grown-ups, how did that happen? And how do we make it stop?
(Props to who can name where that quote came from)


This one is for all of you psychology geeks out there. I've been having jitters for about a month or two... Life is changing and I fear I'm entering a life-stage crisis as I like to say. The last semester of PA school is underway, I'm in the middle of planning my wedding, I've started to job hunt, my board exam date is booked, and my quarter century birthday is on it's way.

So lets talk psychology. Everyone has heard of a "mid life crisis" and ironically, when you Google search, there is also a quarter life crisis -- which refers exactly to the time frame I'm in right now. Furthermore, the famed psychologist Erik Erikson developed and proposed a sort of counter-theory to Freud's approach that describes life stages that correlate with certain ages and with specific psychological barriers that must be overcome to continue to the next stage. His 8 stages of development are as follows:

1. Trust vs. Mistrust: 0-1 years, highly related to the baby's relationship with the mother; separation anxiety usually starts during this stage and the baby must learn to trust the caregivers

2. Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt: 1-3 years, coincides with toilet training, child learns that he/she has control over his/her body and actions

3. Initiative vs. Guilt: 3-5 years, associated with preschool, children learn to assert control over their environments

4. Industry vs. Inferiority: 6-11 years, associated with elementary education, children learn to how cope with new challenges independently, such as homework and responsibility at home

5. Identity vs. Role Confusion: 12-18 years, this coincides with middle school and high school when teens start learning about themselves and who they are/who they want to be, this is highly affected by social influences (peer pressures)

**6. Intimacy vs. Isolation: 19-40 years, young adults learn and need to form loving human relationships and bonds while also finding a sense of security in adult hood (via career, education, relationships, etc)

**7. Generativity vs. Stagnation: 40-65 years, adult lean and need to find ways to be productive, whether it be having and nurturing children or creating a positive change that will benefit others

8. Ego Integrity vs. Despair: 65-Death, older adults reflect and acknowledge their accomplishments to find a sense of fulfillment

The first word in the stage name, trust, autonomy, initiative, etc, is the attribute the individual attains if successful, and the second word, mistrust, shame, guilt, etc, is that which the individual learns if unsuccessful. I have written these descriptions in the positive light in which the individual is successful during that stage (i.e. in stage 2 if the child learns he has control over his body, he feels a sense of autonomy, if he fails and does not learn this self control he learns to feel shame and doubt).

Stages 6 and 7 have been starred and I bet you can guess why. Intimacy vs. Isolation (stage 6: young adulthood) correlates with a "quarter life crisis"... however, I personally like to call what I'm going through a "life-stage crisis" because over the span of 20 years, I'm sure individuals can feel a sense of uncertainty at multiple and various points along that time frame. Yes graduating and getting a job is one, but what about marriage? Or buying a house? Or having a child? All these can happen at different time points and still cause feelings of "crisis" because they are each big life changes. And while Erikson's theory doesn't specifically refer to crisis, his description of the stages account for the crisis by suggesting there is a certain conflict to overcome, in this case finding security.

Generativity vs. Stagnation (stage 7: middle adulthood), which correlates to "mid-life crisis," is really just a continuation from finding security, for after you gain security the next goal is to be productive in that role. If you have nothing to show for your hard work and effort at the end of the day, or if you feel like you have nothing to show or you don't know where your work is taking you, that can lead to feelings of crisis. Though I'm not at this stage in my life, its important to keep in mind now that I'm currently laying the foundation for what is to come, so I better give myself a nice set up so I can be successful in the future.

What does this mean for me right now? I guess I need to get some "security." Since I've identified the feeling, and now the problem/solution, the next step is putting it into action and continuing to keep my goals in mind while taking one step forward at a time. The important thing is to avoid letting the feeling take over and paralyze progress, because the feeling is simply a feeling - it is of no real value. To keep it simple: this too shall pass.

*Note: Any supplemental information about Erikson in this post is from my good friend wikipedia. 

Memorial Day Weekend: An American Holiday; A Northeastern Holiday

Living with a southerner, I have to annually explain the importance of Memorial Day Weekend. According to him, in Texas Memorial Day is just another day... like Columbus Day or President's Day. Yes, we all know the technical reason for the holiday - remembering the men and women who have died serving in the armed forces - but he doesn't quite understand why northerners go bonkers with celebrations this weekend.  Granted, our celebrations are seemingly unrelated to the actual point of the holiday, which may not be very honorable of us up here in the northeast, but for us, Memorial Day serves a dual purpose.

Summers are a precious fleeting moment in the lives of those north of the Mason-Dixon Line. The cycle of misery approaches at the beginning of school as Labor Day indicates the end of the summer season. We bear the wind, the loss of color in our world, the rains, and then the snow. We freeze, we brace against more wind, and some years blizzards. Finally we start to thaw, but it is always an unpredictable time in our lives. One day it may be sunny and 50 degrees, the next it might be 55 with torrential downpours, the next we are back in the low 40s. The snow melts, the sandy roads are left stained brown. The grass slowly turns from a matted yellow-green to dull green to vibrant green each time it rains. The trees bud and we grow giddy. Summer is coming.

April showers bring May flowers and school work suddenly becomes less serious, parents plan summer programs for their children, the shorts and skirts come out, and bathing suits are purchased. Propane tanks are filled, patio umbrellas assembled, outdoor furniture is cleaned, boats are put back in their respective bodies of water and backyard pools are opened. The gardens get weeded and mulched, and suddenly it is time. Prayers for sunshine start and Memorial Day Weekend arrives.

After 9 long months BBQs are scheduled leading friends and family to assemble. Grills are rolled out, beer is purchased and placed in coolers, and blenders are put on the counter next to the line up of daiquiri and pina colada mix. Let the celebrations begin, for summer is back again!

Note: This is my take on the holiday, I am particularly fond of summer and particularly unfond of winter. I also claim no knowledge or understanding about how the holiday is viewed in other parts of the country aside from the northeast and what Howie tells me of Texas.  

Money, money, money

Gosh, don't ya just hate money?? Well, perhaps you love/hate money if you are out there earning an income, but coming from a student, let me just say this: Money can be a total fun-sucker. In recent months money seems to be a constant presence in my life and an ever growing burden. Perhaps because of my care troubles, perhaps because I'm upon graduation, perhaps because my loan money is dwindling at the end of the semester. Truth is, I can't escape it. When I complain, Howie always turns to me and says "That's why every college student should be required to take a business class. I had to take a science, why didn't you take intro to finance?" Well, though I hate to admit it, I think he is right.

So what can I do? I'll have to teach myself, so I'm adding it to my bucket list to learn to manage my finances wisely with my own knowledge, rather than by my parent's continued unsolicited advice (though I'm not quite sure I'll be able to ever stop receiving advice, at least I'll have my own tricks up my sleeve). I'll be graduating in 3 months with a boat load of a debt becoming the new breadwinner of our little two person family. While my breadwinner status won't be official until our wedding day, it will still be in effect to a certain extent unofficially. While I have some time until I'll be required to start paying back my loans, I'd like to get started right away. I'll also be saving for my wedding and be planning to possibly budget more costly living expense if we choose to make the move into the city. With that, aside from reading my bank statements and paying my credit card bills on time... I know little else about truly budgeting and being in full control of my money. What if there are other banks out there that are better? What if there are other ways of reducing expenses I don't even realize I don't need to be spending? What about investing?

The first thing to do is to look at what I'm spending now. No, I'm not totally out of control, but I have noticed my credit card bill escalating over the winter months. Mentally, I've cracked a little from being stringent and had a mini spending spree with various things, especially at the super market. I've fallen victim to buying things on sale even though I may not need to. I also went a little nuts with textbooks and miscellaneous shopping. What can I cut down on? All three of those things.

Goal 1: Reduce my supermarket bill! I used to be excellent at keeping my bill under $100 for 2+ weeks worth of food for two. Lately I keep hitting $120, $110, $130... all of that adds up. Why? I can rationalize treating myself with food because I have to eat to live. That's bad for my tummy and my wallet. So my goal is to become more strict with buying only whats on sale, if the sale price is less than the bargain brand. If its an item I actually need, then stick with the bargain. If it's neither on a quality sale and its not something that I need, forget about it. The things I buy regardless of sale are only the things that I can't stock up on because of shelf life: i.e. milk, fresh produce.

Goal 2:  Stop buying things just because they are on sale! Its just silly.

Goal 3: Sell things used! I have a stack of old textbooks that I just do not need... Plan to sell them back on Amazon. If I had a yard, I would plan a yard sale of the things I've accumulated but don't really need.

Goal 4: Plan better! If I want to go shopping because I need a dress, make a mental plan that I will only shop for dresses. If I forgot something at the supermarket I need for a meal, ONLY purchase that one item. I need to stop using required shopping trips as an excuse to buy things I never would have gotten anyway.

Goal 5: Educate myself. This is going to take quite a bit of time, but it all starts with the will. I've already been re-inspired today from reviewing several articles I've found on Yahoo! News about saving money: 50 Ways to Improve Your Finances, and 7 Compulsive Shopping Traps. This advice is FREE, and you can find similar articles on any major news site or search engine. With the upcoming changes in my life, I certainly could stand to learn a thing or two about better taking care of my finances. 

Being a "real" commuter

My car has been having intermittent troubles for about 3, almost 4 weeks now. I've had it back and forth to CT to my dad, who is my usual "car guy," and to three different shops up near him. The first was our usual townie shop; they couldn't access the transmission with their computer to look for trouble codes. The second was the Dodge dealership; they were scheming thieves who ended up charging me $300 for a transmission fluid change that was not necessary, on top of $100 for needing to rent a car during that time. The third was Aamco of Danbury; they were phenomenal and honest. Rather, phenomenal because they were honest. They went above and beyond checking the car at multiple time points on multiple days to try to replicate the problem before recommending any work. After 3 days of attempts with the car behaving perfectly (I was starting to fear the car was haunting me), they told me to take it home and bring it back when the problem was more consistent without charging me a penny. Rationale: they didn't want to take the car apart without a plan. Too bad Dodge wasn't interested in that kind of logical service....

So I took the car home. Much to my dismay, the problem wasn't fixed and there were no known solutions. It continued to act out at first start up each morning, but then would be fine. However, Thursday the car was misbehaving ALL day. It was the worst behavior I've ever experience and included coasting backwards down a hill even though it was in "drive" facing up the hill. I took it to my local Aamco (hoping they would be as great as the guys in Danbury). Fortunately, they were able to replicate the problem to get a sense of what was happening. Unfortunately they had to keep it overnight to run tests on Friday to rule out an internal transmission issue. I would have to commute by public transportation. Initially planned for my boys sake, we live along one of the metro north train lines and I would only have to get to the second town away. I mapquested and measured the distance from the train stop to my office: 1.2 miles. Do-able.

Friday morning I got my stuff together, packed on bag with my stethoscope, lab coat, wallet, ballet flats (I planned to wear sneaks for my walk), and my water bottle. Weather report stated the current temperature was 61 degrees. I wore my khaki pants, a sleeveless blouse and a sweater. Given the recent cold rainy weather, it never crossed my mind to check the humidity. I got out side and felt instantly dewy. Likewise, I did not realize the ticket booths were only on the one side of the track... the opposite side of the track. I rushed down, across, and up the stairs, raced through the prompts on the screen, and raced back across as my train was pulling in to the station. Photo finish. I arrived to my destination in 2 stops, 15 minutes. The walk turned out to be very pleasant through a typical Westchester neighborhood. It took me a half an hour to get to my destination at a leisurely pace (I could have taken the later train, but miscalculated my timing). By the time I got to the office my skin felt like water, my bangs were curly, and the rest of my hair a frizzy mess. It was humid. I promptly twisted it all into a bun and clipped back my bangs before getting down to business.

***

At the end of the day I was frazzled. I had only noted 3 return train times and the clock was ticking by. I was concerned I would miss the last one, which would get me home to late for a previous commitment I had to attend to. As I rushed down the sidewalks, no longer wearing my sweater, I began to notice the graceful hills as my calves started complaining about my speed walking. I hadn't noticed any inclines on my pokey walk into this office this morning. I knew it took me a half hour at a slow pace to walk the first direction. I knew I had a bit less than a half hour to get back to the train. I knew I was putting much more effort into walking than I had earlier. But still, I was nervous. Unlike my car, the train won't wait for me. So I rushed... C'est la vie.  

More tips for healthier habits and a bit about fruits

Lets start with the bit about fruits. My world was recently shaken up a bit when I came to the realization cucumbers are fruits, not veggies. Shocker, I know. I was eating my healthful side dish of cucumbers, carrots, and left over pico de gallo (raw tomato and onion salsa) and was thinking about cucumbers being at the top of my fave veggies list. Then I thought, are they a veggie? They have seeds... To Google I went! The verdict: Cucumbers are the fruit of a vine plant, like tomatoes, pumpkins, and squash. So my side dish of veggies was really a side dish of fruit plus a rogue carrot.

With that I promptly went looking for nutrition information about cucumbers because the major fruits I actually think of as fruits are usually high sugar, which equals high carb, albeit the natural version. This brought me to a great link that gives nutrition information on almost anything you can think of. This link brings you right to the cucumber, but type in any food at the top search bar and it will give you a list of options of raw, peeled, cooked, sauteed, canned, etc. It even lets you pick prepackaged versions of foods, such as Campbell's tomato soup when you type "tomato." I definitely spent 10 minutes typing in my favorite "veggies" (read: cucumber, zucchini, tomato, rogue carrots...) right before I started writing this.

I also recently stumbled onto this great page that summarizes more eloquently the points I was trying to make in my previous posts about healthier habits. In addition to reinforcing the idea that healthy living is a lifestyle, not a fad only for bathing suit season, the author talks about the "paleo lifestyle." I'm not sure if you've stumbled on to this in your travels yet, but it is a lifestyle that seeks to imitate how a human would eat and what kind of activities they would partake in if they lived in nature. After all, our bodies evolved in nature. The focus is on free range, naturally grown meats, vegetables, and fruits. And while I don't intend on ever becoming strictly paleo (as evidenced by point #3 on my post about lunch April 30th)... it makes sense and after reading about it I'm starting to more consciously consider what I really want my food lifestyle to be.

So, with that, click here for some food for thought  if you are interested (pun intended :) )

My life living with a law student

Today I woke up to Howie peeking out the bedroom window, holding his coffee in his left hand while pulling the curtain back just enough to peer out with his right. I half opened my eyes and repositioned myself under the covers. He looked over at me and said "Hey, buddy," a usual wake-up greeting. He then proclaimed, "I'm waiting for UPS, when do they come?" Of course, being a very terrible morning person this question annoyed me. I rolled my eyes, and told him I don't know. I got up to go to the bathroom and when I finished brushing my teeth he was leaving the apartment. I got back to the bed and answered the ringing phone, "Yes, dear?" "I'm waiting for the UPS man. I see him up the street, but the truck is facing the wrong direction!" I started to chuckle. This is my boy, crazy as ever.

After waiting outside in the rainy day for 10 minutes he comes back in empty handed. Again he starts peeking out the window "I'm huntin' wabbits," he states. Then his body language changes. He starts smiling the biggest smile I've seen in months, "He's Coming! I See Him! He's Coming!" Like a child on Christmas, he peeks into the living room, waits for the doorbell, and starts giggling, "It's here!" He runs to the door and then runs back into the room ripping apart a package. Triumphantly he raises his new prize, Examples & Explanations: Administrative Law.

The lab - neat by usual comparison. 

Welcome to finals season! All the rumors you hear about law school are true. Those videos on youtube, true. Law students are a unique bunch. I would venture to call them insane, but too many of them are my friends and I wouldn't want to insult anyone at this sensitive time ;)

About a month or so ago the real buckle down started for my boy. While he's been in his "Lab" all semester with papers and daily readings. Things have only gotten real weird in the past 2 weeks. The first two weeks of the buckle down don't really phase me; my brain doesn't start registering that the change is semi-permanent until the third week when I start to notice that I'm doing all of the chores and the house is still getting messier. Living with a law student at this time sends you back to the days of simply co-existing with a roommate you just totally are not on the same page with. If I make a meal for the two of us, he inhales it in 5 minutes and that is our "together" time. Other than that, he studies with his noise-concealing headphones, emerges once in a while to say something random or have a 3 second temper-tantrum about hating studying, and that is that.  Recently he got weird enough to tell me I can no longer sit on the couch in the same room with him, even though I'm very quiet and don't interrupt him. He says its too much of a wanted distraction to have me there, I must leave. What can I do? I guess I'll just count down the next two weeks with him until finals are over...

A Talent for Practice

I recently read Complications: A surgeon's notes on an imperfect science written by Atul Gawande. He uses anecdotes from his days as a resident to introduce the reader to discussions about mistakes, failures, uncertainty, and mystery. I highly recommend this book to any medical professional and, if you are into thoughtful discussion about the human element of life and work, I'd recommend it to you, too, regardless of your chosen profession. I was particularly drawn in by this passage and have been contemplating it for a couple of weeks now:

Surgeons, as a group, adhere to a curious egalitarianism. They believe in practice, not talent. People often assume that you have to have great hands to become a surgeon, but it's not true... To be sure, talent helps. Professors say every two or three years they'll see someone truly gifted come through a program - someone who picks up complex manual skills unusually quickly, sees the operative field as a whole, notices trouble before it happens. Nonetheless, attending surgeons say that what's most important to them is finding people who are conscientious, industrious, and boneheaded enough to stick at practicing this one difficult thing day and night for years on end. As one professor of surgery put it to me, given a choice between a Ph.D. who had painstakingly cloned a gene and a talented sculptor, he'd pick the Ph.D. every time. Sure, he said, he'd bet on the sculptor being more physically talented; but he'd bet on the Ph.D. being less "flaky." And in the end that matters more. Skill, surgeons believe, can be taught; tenacity cannot. They take minions with no experience in surgery, spend years training them, and then take most of their faculty from these same homegrown ranks. 

And it works. There have now been many studies of elite performers - international violinists, chess grand masters, professional ice-skaters, mathematicians, and so forth - and the biggest difference researchers find between them and lesser performers is the cumulative amount of deliberate practice they've had. Indeed, the most important talent may be the talent for practice itself. K. Anders Ericsson, a cognitive psychologist and expert on performance, notes that the most important way in which innate factors play a role may be in one's willingness to engage in sustained training. He's found, for example, that top performers dislike practicing just as much as others do. But more than others, they have the will to keep at it any. 

I've added underlines for emphasis on the statements that really struck a chord in me. This is an interesting excerpt, especially in a society that values talent so highly. Anyone logical could probably reason that practice is really what makes perfect, but to have someone in a field in which talent is perceived to be so highly regarded explain so skillfully that talent is not what got him where he is, is quite refreshing. Personally, it's also pretty inspiring and forces me to tweak my perception of success and how to gain it. I've been fortunate enough to have been successful to the point where I am now, but I can't help but fear what will happen next. In a few months I'll be jumping out into the abyss on my own in a world of science that is every changing and never completely knowable. How will I keep up? Especially because I will no longer have the crutch of schooling helping me through it all. More and more I realize what "life-long learning" truly means in it's most basic form: I'll have to keep practicing. Hopefully I have that talent.

Gawande, A. Complications: A Surgeon's Notes on an Imperfect Science. New York, NY: Picador; 2002.

A fresh start for forming healthier habits (Part 2)

Exercise is my nemesis.

I think the last time I enjoyed exercise was when it came under the disguise of "tag" when I was 8 years old. Well, I guess I somewhat enjoyed it to a certain extent in high school when I was a member of the swim team. I attempted to force myself to enjoy running in college. Running was very popular among my roommates. Sophomore year I even got myself running 3 miles about 5-6 days a week for a couple months. Senior year I went to the fabulous brand new gym on campus here and there, but never on a steady basis. Since then, I've done close to nothing in the way of physical activity beyond walking 2 blocks to where I park my car. So in essence, you can expect this next habit change to be a tremendously difficult one.

Don't get me wrong, there is a lot of value in exercise. It releases endorphins, it leads to better body image, it strengthens your heart and lungs, it improves your overall health, and so on. I'm not a fool, I'm just lazy. Apart from play time as a kid, I never developed a routine of exercise as being a part of my everyday life. And let's face it, exercise should be a part of everyone's life for their entire lives. As much as we pretend we don't need to be active, we are animals and we need physical activity to be at our best.

First thing to do is realize that this needs to be a permanent change. Some sort of physical activity needs to enter my life for the long haul. With that, I need to start with the basics. I know if I go out and pretend to run for the first time in 3 years it's just not going to happen. I won't be able to do it, I'll send myself into an asthma episode, and that will be the end of that. Two months ago I finally built up the motivation to stop thinking about exercise and to start doing some. That abruptly ended when I was hit with the most severe upper respiratory infection I've ever had: inhaler every 3 hours, prednisone, nebulizer treatments, unending cough suppressants, and so on. Since then this recent lull really set in. So it's time to start getting my act together.

Going off of my philosophy with diet, I've decided to start slow. What is manageable? What is something small I can add to my daily routine without feeling overwhelmed? 10 minutes sounds like a reasonable amount of time to start... what can I do in 10 minutes? How about 4 sets of 15 tri's and bi's? So that's where I started. I also told Howie to whisper in my ear every now and then about doing some activity since he was already in the routine of working out every day. After I decided working my arms was very manageable and not enough, I added 4 sets of 10 lunges. Then I added some ab ripper X (from Howie's p90x). See where I am going with this?

I went for my first run this weekend and to my delight I didn't die! I guess all those core things really do work! Unfortunately this week with the down turn of the weather and me not quite figuring out mentally how to make myself go do cardio after being at work all day, I haven't run again in 4 days.  Good news: I'm still doing my core.... The real improvement is that I haven't given up and I haven't completely reverted to my old ways. This is the first start to forming a habit - sticking with it. 

A fresh start for forming healthier habits (Part 1)

For a few weeks now I've been thinking about habits. I'll admit I've been feeling pretty down about myself with regards to body image lately - its one of those months where I'm just not feeling too great. We all have these moments. I've been half-heartedly considering diet changes I've been trying to motivate myself to live an overall healthier lifestyle. But man, it is so hard to do sometimes! So lets talk about a topic I have strong love/hate feelings for:

* Diet and Excercise! *

How many times have you heard or read about diet and exercise? I should ask how often you hear about these two things on a daily basis (Think diet food/beverage commercials and online ads in the corners of most websites).  It may seem repetitive and boring at this point to hear about, but these two sneaky little habits have been shown time and time again to influence major health conditions and overall health. Think about it: obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, constipation, colon cancer, depression, anxiety, osteoporosis, memory loss. These are just a hand full of conditions that can be aided by diet and exercise. 


I'm not the healthiest eater and I don't exercise regularly. I look healthier than I am, which you may think this is great, but it's really just a crutch to promote my bad habits. I'm at high risk for developing almost all of those conditions I listed above once I get older based on my genetic lottery and my poor health behavior, which means I need to change NOW. So how? Little by little. And with the help of a buddy: Howie. He motivates me on the exercise end (he runs so he's already in that routine) and I bug him about establishing better eating habits. So what do I do to start making healthier habits?

Disclaimer: this is not any formal, professional advice. This is what works for me when I'm in a slump to START getting me back on track. I start with one thing, and then once I'm back in a better routine with that, I add another little change.

Lets start with what I'm better at regulating: 
Long term goal: Better eating habits


With regards to lifestyle changes, my biggest suggestion is to start small with a task that is not overwhelming. So, yes we have one umbrella goal of better habits, but how do we get there? When I realize my sneaky bad habits have taken over, I start getting back on track with one of the following 3 options: 


Short term goal 1: 
Don't eat within 2.5 hours of going to bed for the night. If you go to be at 10:30pm, this means no more food after 8:00pm; very manageable. This is my favorite rule to start with. Over time, it even allows the flexibility of moving that stop time earlier depending on your schedule (this week I'm attempting no eating after 7:30pm). I also give myself the one allowable cheat: If I'm starving by bedtime to the point I won't be able to sleep I am allowed one healthy snack, such as a small carrot, a glass of milk, or a quarter of an apple. After even just a couple of days of getting in the mindset that I'm not going to eat after the designated time, I don't even consider the cheat anymore and I actually prefer going to bed being on the slightly hungrier side versus the slightly full side.

Short term goal 2: 
Revamp one meal. I usually start with breakfast. Lets say my bad habit is eating no breakfast or something not so healthy. My new small change is to eat a breakfast that contains protein and/or fiber while avoiding white carbs. Example: multi-grain english muffin (fiber) with an apple (fiber and the natural kind of sweet cheat) or yogurt (protein, dairy, calcium). Nothing extreme, a health freak could think this is nothing, but its what works for me and its a positive change from eggo waffles or bagels. Like I said, I start little by little and keep going until I get to a happy place; as long as you are making changes in a positive direction. Another alternative to the revamp rule that I like to do is make a rule to include a vegetable at every dinner (helps the boy be better, too). One of our biggest bad habits is to have a mostly carb with a little bit protein dinner, such as pizza or pasta, or chicken with mac & cheese (yum). By simply adding a vegetable, I automatically dish out less of the carb, but still get my fix. Over time, I find myself craving the balance of having more than 2 food groups represented in my big meals.

Short term goal 3:
Portion control by changing the size of your plates; instead of serving yourself on your huge dinner plate, use the small lunch plates from your set, regardless of what meal you are eating. The difference in portion size when you do this is astonishing. I find that if I put food on that big plate, I'm going to work to eat it all, (I'm not kidding when I say I love food). Whereas when I put food on the small plate, when I finish I usually find it was enough. And if I still think I'm hungry, it gives me the pause to really think about whether or not I really need seconds.

This method of starting slow and going little by little helps me stay on track, not feel overwhelmed, and I'm not tempted to jump off the wagon because the changes were too major for my body. Its no secret that the majority of people who jump into a crazy diet or exercise routine head-on easily fall off and end up right where they started. Remember, we are trying to change habits here, not go through a phase of good behavior only to fall back into our bad habits. Habits are routines established over long periods of time. They are deeply ingrained by the time you reach adulthood and they can't be changed overnight.

As an additional tidbit, a good friend of mine recently wrote on his own blog about keeping New Year's resolutions and staying motivated. His tips are excellent, but the best part is they don't just apply to New Year's resolutions, they apply to any goal or habit change you want to make. I'm always up for a good suggestion about staying on top of things!